Because You Won't Remeber This
by The Sarcastic Litttle Muffin
Summary: This is my first one-shot ever. Pretty fluffy. It takes place after Walter's funeral and Wanda's on morphine.I don't know if morphine can make you loopy, but let's just pretend it does. Wanda says a few things to Ian that might shock you. WandaxIan


This is my first one-shot ever. Pretty fluffy. It takes place after Walter's funeral and Wanda's on morphine. Since I'm not a doctor, I don't know if morphine can make you loopy, but let's just pretend it does. Wanda says a few things to Ian that might shock you. This all takes place in Ian's point of view. If it works, I may rewrite the Host in Ian, Jared, and Kyle's POV.

Because You Won't Remember This

"Sorry," I whispered as she closed her eyes and slipped into a drug-induced sleep. I gingerly scooped her up, which had started to become a habit by now, and headed back toward the caves. The look on her face before Doc dosed her burned in my mind as I passed along with all the others. Her fear was exposed too clearly on that beaten, bruised face. If she wasn't in my arms, I would have balled my hands into angry fists.

Kyle. He was going to pay for this. Even if it meant I had to pull the trigger myself. The feeling made me sick to my stomach. The long years of running and hiding together created a deeper bond then I was ready to admit, but that didn't mean I would ever forgive him for this.

I vowed to myself I wouldn't leave her side until Kyle was buried the sand with a bullet where his brain should've been. Safety was the least she deserved after everything she has been through.

I held Wanda closer to my chest, and felt Jared's eyes burning into my back. I didn't know what to make of him punching Kyle today; I would've probably done it myself if he hadn't. Maybe he wasn't such a dick after all, but that didn't mean I trusted him with her.

It was a silent walk back to the main room, Walter's death hanging heavy on everyone's mind.

"Where are you taking…her?" Jared asked, his eyes locked on Melanie's body with a look that was almost concern. Since he couldn't see the silver in her eyes, maybe he was pretending it was only Melanie in there. For a second, I felt sorry the poor bastard, but I got over it even faster.

"My place," I decided on the spot. Part of the reason was it being the first place that popped into my head; the second part being I wasn't going to invite him to ogle at her all night.

That's what I'd be doing.

Whoa. Where had _that_ thought come from?

"Are you sure it's safe?"

"Not really," I admitted reluctantly. "Actually, could you do me a favor?" since he suddenly felt the need to care.

"You want to put me on Kyle-watch?" he guessed.

"Basically."

His lovey-dovey stare turned into a face of fierce protectiveness. "I don't like it," he growled. "You alone with her."

I snorted. Did he really expect me to leave _him_ alone with her, did he? Dream on.

"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to insist," I replied and stepped around him. In doing so, I got the vibe that I was about to be punched in the mouth. If it was any consolation, I'd been waiting for the opportunity to kick his ass. Not to blow my own horn, but having at least fifteen pounds over him, I'm sure I could take him.

"Watch your back, O'Shea."

"Will do." You arrogant jerk.

I kicked the door away with my foot and gently put her down on the mattress. I brushed a mahogany curl from her eyes. My fingers lingered on the part of her face that wasn't black and purple and caressed the soft skin there. I was tracing the shape lips before I realized what was happening. How much I really _wanted _to feel those lips against mine. I wasn't just trying to protect her anymore.

I was in love with her. I deliberately pulled away and sat down on the adjacent mattress, dumbstruck.

I couldn't be in _love_ with Wanda, could I? Well, why not? She was the sweetest person I'd ever met. She was compassionate and selfless. Everything about her was beautiful.

Then I flashbacked to this morning by the river, when my sadistic, idiot-for-a-brother almost took her from me. The thought of life without Wanda, the only pure, good thing in my world, was unbearable. I couldn't live with myself if he'd succeeded, knowing I had failed to protect her. I couldn't live at all without her.

Okay, that may have sounded melodramatic, but it was true enough for me.

I fell back onto the mattress as this new realization racked at my brain. I loved Wanda, and Jared loved Melanie.

Well, things were about to get a million times more complicated.

Somewhere between midnight and the crack of dawn, I heard giggling.

Wanda.

I sat up slowly, not sure what to make of this. What was going on?

"Wanda?"

There was a long pause and some more giggling. "Ian? When did you get here?"

That's when I remembered the morphine. She must have woken up while she was still working of the last dose.

"Ian? Where'd you go?" the sad, pleading voice across from me sent my heart aching inside my chest. Damn it. Things were never going to be the same again between us, at least for me.

"I'm here," I said reassuringly, my voice thick from sleep and the hurting in my chest. I reached out for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She squeezed back.

_Man up, O'Shea. You're losing it. _

"Oh, Ian, I'm so happy you're here." Her voice was on the edge of hysterical sobs.

"Me too, Wanda."

"It's so dark here, Ian. Where'd the sky go?"

I gave myself a mental slap in the face. I was on the verge of pouring out my feelings like some love struck teenager, and Wanda was somewhere in LaLa Land. She didn't know what she was saying.

I sighed and did a double take at the cracks in the ceiling.

"The sky didn't go anywhere, Wanda. You're back in the caves, and it's dark because it's nighttime."

"But I'm not sleepy," she responded in a matter-of-fact tone. She would have been more convincing if her voice wasn't slurred.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, turning to look at her. She was staring up at the sky, her dark eyes glassy from the drugs. She giggled again. She thought I was being funny.

"Nope," she answered mockingly, as if we were playing twenty-questions or something. I decided to amuse her.

"Can I do anything for you, Wanda?" I asked with false-desperation, fighting the temptation of sleep as it began to weigh on me.

"Yes. You can come lie down next to me."

This time it was my turn to laugh. "Wanda, I am lying next to you." She faced me and her whole face lit up like a Christmas tree. If she wasn't so obviously high, I would've been on top of the world. Shamefully, I still couldn't suppress her reaction, drugs or no drugs.

She lifted herself up on all fours and I was about to get up to stop her, with her hurt leg and everything, but she crawled over to me and nudged me over on the much-too-small-for-the-two-of-us mattress. The result was her face snuggled up against my torso and our legs tangled up in each other. Suddenly, I was wide awake.

"You're soft Ian," she noted, while I tried to keep myself from believing she meant this.

"Really?" I asked skeptically, just to fill the silence.

"Yeah, like a cat," she murmured, clinging to the fabric of my shirt. I tried to keep myself from doing something stupid, like wrapping my arms around her and pretending this was real.

Then I thought of something equally as stupid.

"Wanda?"

"Mmhmm."

"If I tell you something, will you promise to forget it later?"

I looked at her and her brow was furrowed in concentration. "I….think so. If that's what you want."

Considerate, even while intoxicated.

"Well, the thing is, Wanda, I think I'm falling in love with you."

"You're…in love with me?" she repeated, trying to wrap her head around what I was saying. She didn't seem to be having much luck.

I swallowed. Admitting it out loud seemed much more final, even if she wouldn't remember. "Yeah."

"How much?"

"How much I love you?"

"No…Wait…Yes."

"Well, I think you're the most incredible person I've ever met, and I'd do anything for you."

"Wow. That's a lot," she whispered, blinking up at the ceiling. There was a pause that was so long, I thought she might have fallen asleep.

"Ian?"

"Yes."

"Will you be my wife?"

I barked out a laugh before I could contain it. "What?"

"Marry me," she explained, scooting up higher on the mattress so she could face me.

"Why?" I asked, a whirlwind of mixed emotions chocking off my air supply.

"So when the swirlies get me, I can be with you, like how Walter's with Gladie."

"I'm sorry, the what?"

"The swirlies. Like when the water moves. It makes swirls."

"When the swirlies get you?" Then it hit me. She was talking about Kyle and the river.

"Don't think like that, Wanda," I told her, taking her hand for reassurance. "The swirlies aren't gonna get you. I won't let that happen."

"Really?"

"Really," and I meant it with as much passion I was capable of.

"I'm so happy…" She trailed off and I saw her eyes close. I was so close, and I couldn't help myself. I kissed her on the forehead and held her against me. I promised it would only be a minute, but she surprised me.

"Ian?" she mumbled with her eyes still closed.

"Yeah?"

I felt her pull away from me, and I reluctantly moved my arms. She brought her hand to my face, and I stiffened.

She petted my cheeks and I few times, and when she reached my nose, she giggled.

"You've got a straight nose, Ian,"

And then she kissed it. I couldn't bring myself to respond. She nearly took my breath away.

Her eyes were closed again, and she looked like she was thinking really hard about something. "Wait," she finally told me. "That's…not right."

That's when she brushed her lips against mine, and my heart could've flown right out of my chest. Being this close, no matter what circumstances, made me feel more alive than I could have ever dreamed of.

I took her good-sided face in my hand and, with all the willpower I had left, moved her back so I could see her. She was staring wide-eyed at me, like even she had been stunned.

Well that made two of us.

She wrinkled her nose. "Well that felt-" She stopped midsentence, as if I'd interrupted her. The look in her eyes told me maybe Melanie had finally broken through.

This wasn't right. I shouldn't have been encouraging her like this. When she was in her right mind, I promised myself, I could show her how much we both wanted each other.

But for now. I gave a tired sigh and lifted her into my arms. "Come on, sweetheart. You need your sleep."

"I don't… " she hooked her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest.

Damn. Why did she have to be so freaking cute?

"Come on, Wanda. Let go," _Please don't._

I felt her arms go slack and I put her down. By the time her head hit the pillow, she was back under again.

I promised myself that was the last time I would ever deny her like that, whether she remembered it or not.


End file.
